miserable and magical

what's in my blog, stays in my blog.

20 Jul

3:10 AM

It’s sad how you just suddenly stop talking to that person you were once so comfortable being around. It’s sad how you just lost the communication. You used to be so close and so open at the same time. That person you could tell literally everything to and not get judged. It is sad how the person you used to talk to all day, that person that you enjoyed being around, that person that even when you’re insecure still managed to make you feel special, that person that wouldn’t mind spending time with you, that person that made you feel worth it, is gone. The communication’s just gone and the strong relationship you established just collapsed.

It’s sad how one wrong move changed it all. Everyday, you’re longing. Wanting to get all that back. But it’s not easy. It’s not easy because it doesn’t feel the same anymore. The distance and the lack of communication made it really difficult. It’s hard that no matter how much you want it all back, it’s just so close to impossible. Because things changed. The communication’s lost. We will never really understand what one feels about the other because there’s no communication, no assurance. It’s all just maybe’s and what if’s. We feel avoided and pushed away because we are away. We are distanced. And for every distance we create and the longer the time we wait, it’s only gonna make it worse leaving us wondering and assuming the truth that we believe in and not in the actual truth.

So here goes all my late night thoughts, where I always put them. 3 am, and I am still up, thinking.

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18 Jul

First-timer! Was so bored during the class suspensions so I made a cover. It’s a capella though. HAHA don’t hate :-(

15 Jul

"Tears were for the weaker days."

This is a line from Rihanna’s song, “What Now”. So what’s with this line? Well it kind of describes my state right now. I’m starting to build up myself, trying to regain my self esteem. Because lately my insecurities have eaten half of me and made me feel really bad and made me think low of myself. It gives me more reasons to overthink. I’m really happy that it’s starting to become better for me now. It feels a lot better being able to love yourself. Because how can you give love when you don’t know how to love yourself? But the main thing is that I’m stronger. Words don’t easily affect me now. I fight without the fear of what others will say about me. I just do what I have to do. Unpleasing stories or rumors that could’ve caused me to breakdown didn’t bring me down. It’s about time I realize all these. It’s about time I should stop crying over my insecurities, overthinking, and hurtful judgements and stories. It’s about time I lift myself up. There’s so much to life than all the things that can break me. It’s my turn to be happy. I’ve learned not to be dependent on others’ happiness but instead, on mine. It’s about time I become stronger and happier. I can’t just dwell on my sad moments. I deserve to be happy, don’t you think? And I’m beginning to be happy. And I thank the people who never left and are helping me find more reasons to be happy. Thank you for being there for me even through my worsts and thank you for helping me be my best.

Project: Happy Val, begins! ☺️

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13 Jul Cool girl?

Cool girl?

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13 Jul Candid 🌿

Candid 🌿

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13 Jul [cool]

[cool]

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13 Jul #throwback 🐾

#throwback 🐾

13 Jul

Anonymous said: Hey! :) You know what? You shouldn't think low of yourself. Honestly, even if I haven't met you in person, you're a pretty awesome girl! Don't let anyone bring you down and NEVER LET YOUR CROWN FALL! :) \m/

I really love unexpected tumblr asks. Thank you so much, anon! I’ll try my best. :-) Hoping to meet you!

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06 Jul ☑️ Bought my own white converse and casio watch + tried caramel macchiato with ice. Bye, savings! 👋

☑️ Bought my own white converse and casio watch + tried caramel macchiato with ice. Bye, savings! 👋

05 Jul Two is better than one?

Two is better than one?

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