My past few days has been a never-ending cycle of crying and smiling. What makes it more painful is that there’s a really fast phasing from smiling to crying. It doesn’t stop by smiling for a long time, and it really sucks. It sucks feeling so down. It sucks feeling the pain in your chest and it gets more painful every day. It sucks not getting your shit together and not being able to focus because of the pain.
Didn’t think I’d be crying myself to sleep again.
I’m going to be here for you through all the up’s and down’s okay? I’m sorry we’ve been having a lot of tampuhans lately, especially today. :-( But never forget that no matter how many days like today we encounter, I’m still going to love you and actually I’d rather have bad times with you than good times with someone else. (Kanta yan) I’m really sorry. I love you so much. 😔💗
When you feel too much pain that you even feel it in your chest and you just want to cry <
It’s an exam night and I am still up. There’s just too many things bothering me. First, Performance Tasks. Second, Math-Science Pageant. Third, online issues. And fourth, myself.
I have this never-ending fear of not being enough — Atelophobia. It’s crazy how one day everything seems so fine and then suddenly you wake up and things aren’t the way it was. How suddenly someone treats you differently without warnings. It’s just so hard to figure out. I don’t even know what went wrong, what I did wrong. One moment things are okay and then the next thing you know, wait, you don’t even know what’s going on. Not anymore.
It’s been a month, I guess, or almost, since we started talking again after 3 years. Things happened so fast and who would’ve thought we’d end up like this? Thank you for never failing to make me happy everyday. Just always remember that no matter how bad your past was, it doesn’t matter now. What matter’s now is what you have at present and what you will have in the future, and I promise to be there every step of the way from now on. 💖Another appreciation post because you deserve it and because we’re legal. [chuckle]
He may not seem like he’s the best choice, but he’s my choice. He’s the choice I’m happy with. 💘
Finally found someone who makes me happy everyday. Hay, missed and love this feeling. I’m just really thankful and happy for that one person that surprisingly walked into my life again. Hehe you’ll find out who soon :-)
2nd cover because it’s suspended again today…